I think I underestimated the difficulty of settling in to a daily running routine again. It hasn't been easy so far but I'm slowly working it out and trying to look forward to my runs as much as possible. Probably tried to push too hard too soon with the 20km right after my immune system had been weakened by my booster jabs :/

Will be doing another 20km today (outdoors this time!) Weekly mileage so far's been 40km and I hope to hit 90km with tomorrow's long run! (:

Tonight- Anatomy, Pathology & Immunology, Physiology, Law

Tomorrow- Ethics, Sociology, Pharmacology, Microbiology

IMPOSSIBLE 

Had a less-than-perfect race on Sunday but it was a beautiful Sunday to be out there running. It's amazing how my perspective's always so different when it comes to running- none of the stress and intransigence that plagues nearly every other aspect of my life. No matter how badly a run goes I never regret the moments I'm out there pounding the gravel, sweating it out, heartbeat louder than any other sound even when my iPod's on max volume. I think my success in it last year somehow took away some of that beauty, and shifted my focus in running from one of seeking inner peace to that of performance. & I think I started out med school with unrealistic expectations of how I'd cope with the dual demands of running competitively while studying and learning to cook clean live by myself all at the same time. Of course I had a lot of help and support from the best grandparents in the world, great coursemates, family and friends back home but the crux of the problem I think was overestimating my abilities. 

There is a lot more I want to achieve in running and I think I was overanxious to do it all in my first year in med school, with people telling me how difficult it is as the years go by to squeeze in the miles and tough trainings that it takes to excel. But right now I think my priorities are to stay injury-free, enjoy running and keep running. If I can't do that running 3 workouts a week and 1 long run, to the extent that it drains me so much I don't enjoy it anymore then I think I'm happy with slow easy 10ks daily, just to give my life the routine and endorphines it needs to keep me happy and healthy :D I hope I still have it in me to pull out the stops when I want to but if I can't it's alright, because I'll be happy just to be running and running and running esp with my favourite people in the world (:

This week will be a quiet week- slow easy relaxing runs by myself.. I hope to hit 70km.

Next week- 120km

Week after- 130km

Week after- 60km, taper for Gold Coast

Can't wait to run lots again :D

It's been a good week; 105km! & I'm feeling lighter when I run- although still need to shed quite a bit of weight. Hahaha I had like 2L of sanitarium soy icecream over 3 days it's so disgusting! Seriously I need to eat better carbs... But icecream is so much more fun.

Somewhat less stressed now I've made a study plan. I hope it's doable! I just need to stop getting distracted! Which is easier said than done!

Gonna finish HCP tonight and cram CBLs tomorrow. I can do this- it's nothing compared to all the A level shit really! & a heck lot more interesting :D

I should be catching up on my massive backlog of work but instead I am here; also sad that today's run didn't go all that well and that this week's running mileage is sub-par ): I've lost so much speed and strength the only thing I've gained is WEIGHT! Sigh. But it was fun anyway (: Barring the stupidly narrow paths and the fact that I totally ran >10km because I DON'T LISTEN TO INSTRUCTIONS BOO.

Stuck to this week's resolutions pretty well except last night's chocolate macadamia cookie ): But I thought I should be rewarded for waking up at 7am and cycling all the way to Jells park for the hills session!

Next week's training plan:

 I resolve to run on Wed morning! No excuse not to as I have a 10am start. & to minimise time wastage I'm going to run straight after uni- difficult esp when alone but once I start usually it feels so good I just don't want to stop. Today I went to Coles and armed myself with some great pre-run snacks! Now I just have to remember to pack them and not to eat them for lunch. Haha.

Just read the section on Dr Ben Tan's Marathon Guide on "Choosing the right time to run" and it seems like mornings are the best option! When everyone else is asleep, no "unforeseen circumstances" can crop up that might hinder your training plans. So I'm going to ease myself into the habit. I've already got Saturdays covered- now to work on at least 2 weekdays! I can do this! (:

It strikes me that the sole purpose of this blog is to voice my thoughts- "write it down let it out" sort of- which is an indication of the state of disorganisation of my mind? Or you could call it positive self-talk, which by the way is an immensely helpful tool when running. I once read an article (might have been on about.com... of all places!) that talked about how to motivate yourself to pull through long runs- and bargaining, positive self-talk, repetitive mantras and adding variety seem to be some of the tactics that have worked best for me. & part of positive self talk is bargaining with yourself- breaking up each challenge piecemeal, focusing on the task at hand. Time is impermanent- it'll be over before you know it and whether you succeed or fail, it's always nice to know you've done your best.

Looking back on my 2009 entries I feel I've definitely changed in my outlook towards life- more laid back (to the point of nonchalance even), more forgiving towards myself, more positive. I wonder how much of that can be attributed to running.